Meat is great. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love eating steak for breakfast, lunch, and dinner…
But maybe it’s your birthday. And maybe you just want some carnivore birthday cake for goodness’ sake.
If this be the case, all is not lost, dear carnivore dieters. I was a cake-hungry carnivore too until I discovered the holy grail of meat based cakery. And today, I’m here to gve you my magic.
Enter “Pretty Much As Good as the Real Deal Carnivore Birthday Cake” [insert raucous applause].
Table of Contents
Why This Cake Awesome
Because today’s the day, my friends, your fondest gluttonous daydreams come true. The day when, at long last, you get to have your carnivore cake and eat it too.
Yes, my laconic carnivore compatriots, you have struggled. You have exerted superhuman discipline and oodles of unbelievable rigor to transition to a way of eating that most would consider impossibly limited.
Of course, we animal foods enthusiasts know that meat and more meat is, as it turns out, unbelievably delicious and, rather than feeling restricted, most of us feel like the proverbial kid in a steakhouse whose wildest dreams of cream and more fat, please, have finally arrived.
But still. There are certain pleasures those of us committed to a strict carnivore diet thought we had all but absolutely forsaken. For yours truly, birthday cake being at the very top of the list. Even if just once a year, birthday cake had hitherto formed some of the finest recollections of my human existence.
Of course, like so many of us, I was willing to make any sacrifice to attain the ridiculous health, weight loss, bikini body, and superhuman powers a diet consisting solely of animal products turned out to afford.
And yet…if I could, wouldn’t it just be nice to have some cake and it too? To look like a Barbie and feast like a Viking? To have a sweet tooth, just for a minute, like any other cake-munching muggle?
Well, dear reader, that day has come.
Join me in welcoming the new King of Carnivore Diet Desserts: The Best Ever Carnivore Birthday Cake.
This cake is:
- Low Carb & Keto: Keto carnivore? That’s cool. This carnivore cake recipe uses a carnivore apropriate, keto sweetener, is sugar free, and will keep your carb counts keto a propos.
- Super Fine: Crazy gorgeous, fine as all hell, and even more stunning than Sophia Loren’s waistline, this cake LOOKS LIKE A REAL CAKE. Making it the most show stopping of carnivore desserts for any special occasion.
- Seriously Tastes Like Cake: I know I keep saying this…but really. This is not a cake made out of prosciutto that’s like, oh how cute, they made a cake out of meat. No. It looks like real cake. The texture is fairly bready and similar to a dense, very moist and eggy cake. I’m serious. This cake is LEGIT. All but guaranteed to give full satisfaction to the discerning connoisseur of carnivore desserts.
- Dairy-Free Option: If you’re a strict dairy free carnivore, this cake can accomodate. No need for the heavy cream or cream cheese called for by all those other carnivore cake recipes. Not only is the cake itself dairy free, but the frosting can be too. How? Tallow. Sound unbelievable? Try it (directions below). This tasy beef based frosting will make you a believer after the first bite.
- Breakfast-Appropriate: Remember the days of eating leftover birthday cake for breakfast? Those days are BACK. This cake’s purity, high protein content, and almost exclusively animal based ingredients make it a whole-food, stupid-healthy meal-in-itself. You could eat it for breakfast with an absolutely clear conscience, proud to call yourself as real a carnivore as ever lived.
So, my friends, my message is this. No more gazing wistfully at the carb-laden birthday cakes of your normie best friends.
Say goodbye to look, but don’t touch.
Mix it, bake it, ice it and discover for the first time the joy of baking your carnivore cake and eating it too.
Ingredients & Notes
Note: This section contains affiliate links, which means that if you make a purchase through my links I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I currently use or have thoroughly researched for myself. Thanks for supporting Sovereign and Wild in continuing to bring you the best of gourmet carnivory!
Pork Rinds
The secret behind this cake’s miraculous fluffiness is ground pork rinds. Plus some extra puff and aeration courtesy of whipped egg whites.
You can grind the pork rinds yourself or buy pork rind flour. I recommend the latter as more cost and energy efficient.
The most cost effective option is Pork Panko from Bacon’s Heir.
Another option is Pork King Good’s twelve ounce jar of unseasoned ground pork rinds which, per ounce, are still a far better deal than buying pork rinds in a bag.
The least economical but probably second to best option when it comes to quality is Epic’s Pink Himayalan and Sea Salt Pork Rinds.
These rinds are from pasture raised hogs and contain only sea salt and himalayan pink salt, whereas the rinds list above probably are seasoned with processed, iodized salt.
Of course, the best option, or really, the only option for the purity freaks and highly sensitives among us is to source our own pork skin from soy- and corn-free pastured hogs (like these rolls of pork skin from Circle C Farm), make our own pork rinds (here’s a good post on how to make pork rinds from Wholesome Yum–just sub lard or tallow for the avocado oil), then grind.
Glycine
Glycine is an amino acid naturally found in collagenous tissues, and it kinda tastes like…sugar. Not quite as sweet, but heck. When all you eat is steaks, glycine is like straight up high fructose corn syrup (in a good way).
It’s awesome because it’s used a supplement to soothe the central nervous system and is also a huge component of collagen, so it’ll make you an even prettier Carnivore Barbie (or Ken Doll) than you already are.
I use this non-gmo bulk glycine from Microingredients, a small US based company.
Inositol
If you’re a felxible kinda meat eater, combine glycine with insoitol to create the ultimate zero net carb carnivore sweetener.
Inositol is a compound naturally found in the mammalian nervous system. It acts as a soothing neurotransmitter, supports adequate liver and detox functions, and is used in supplement form to improve symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, PCOS, panic disorder, and OCD.
But the best part is that inositol tastes really, really good.
And…the combo of inositol and glycine has a clean, sweet taste that is remarkably similar to real sugar with none of the carbs or funny aftertastes of sugar or other high intensity zero-carb sweeteners.
Here’s the catch…inositol is manufactured from corn (although you can get it from companies that use GMO corn), so the super purist or very sensitive carnivores among us will probably want to steer clear.
Also it’s kinda expensive. But it’s my humble opinion that as an occasional treat inositol may have a place in a long-term carnivore diet.
If you’re not comfortable using inositol, you can simply replace inositol in this recipe with the same amount of glycine.
I use bulk, non-GMO Inositol from Microingredients.
Tallow
Of course, you can make a plain Jane cream cheese frosting and that’s just fine.
But the icing on the cake (quite literally) is that the frosting can be made from purified beef tallow, glycine, inositol and, raw honey (if so desired), making this cake pretty much totally paleo carnivore and dairy free.
If you wanna go this way, then take a look at my Keto Carnivore Fat Bombs recipe for the full dets on how to source the best tallow for tallow frosting.
In short, if you’d like to make your own pristine and fat bomb appropriate tallow, head over to our comprehensive guide on How to Make Beef Tallow and use the wet-rendering method.
In a pinch, hit up some Sulu Grassfed Tallow for a deodorized, super good deal that doesn’t smell or taste like cow (though how they get is so odorless makes me a tad suspicious).
Or, get yourself some grass finished Epic Beef Tallow for a higher quality option (but one that smells and tastes more beefy…)
Other Ingredients
If you’d like a sweeter cake-bread experience you can use a high-intensity sweeter such as pure monk fruit extract (like TeaKi Hut Organic Monk Fruit Extract Powder) or unprocessed whole leaf organic stevia powder, like this one from Frontier Herbs.
If you can tolerate a bit of flora, wanna have some fun, and aren’t married to your super strict carnivory, hunt up three quarters of a cup of blueberries and two lemons for extra special birthday zing.
Directions & Tips
One: Prepare Dry ingredients & Baking Pans
Sift the ground pork rinds with a flour sifter or use your fingers to detect and discard any larger pieces. Mix glycine and inositol with ground pork rinds in a large bowl.
Prepare cake pans by lining the bottoms with parchment paper and greasing the bottoms and sides of the pans with tallow.
I used two smaller cake pans (about eight inches in diameter) for a double layer cake. If you’d like, however, you can use a slightly larger cake pan for a simple, single layer cake. Trace the bottom of your pan or pans on parchment paper and use scissors to trim to fit.
PRO TIP: Definitely do not skip the sifting. Those large chunks of congealed pork flesh tend to erm, *impair* the culinary experience, so to speak. In other words, biting into something you expect to be birthday cake and coming up with a savory & massy lump of pig skin just kinda ruins the whole joke, ya? So please, do yourself a favor and don’t forget to sift.
Two: Separate Yolks From Whites
Separate the egg yolks from the whites and place in separate bowls.
PRO TIPS:
- Crack eggs on a flat surface to lessen the probability of puncturing the yolk.
- When separating eggs from whites, some use the two halves of the shell, gently moving the yolk from one half of the shell to the next as the egg white drops away into the sink. What I’ve found more efficient is to crack the yolk into one palm and let the white slip through my very slighted spread fingers.
- Those with a sensitivity to egg white can rinse the yolk under running water before using in the recipe to eliminate as much of the egg white as possible.
Three: Mix Dry & Wet Ingredients
Heat one cup of cream in a small saucepan until small bubbles begin to form around the edges of the saucepan. Remove from heat immediately.
Mix hot cream into dry ingredients along with egg yolks. If you’re living life on the edge, toss in some blueberries to boot.
Four: Whisk Egg Whites
Whisk egg whites in a kitchen aid or with a hand mixer until stiff, then gently fold them into the cake batter.
PRO TIP: You’ll know the egg whites are done when the egg whites form stiff peaks when the whisk is removed.
Five: Bake
Add baking soda and baking powder to cake batter and, in a time-efficient although unhurried manner, pour the batter into your oiled and parchment-lined cake pans.
Bake for thirty to thirty-five minutes or until a fork emerges clean from the center of both cakes. Let cool completely, in the fridge if you’d like to expedite the process.
Six: Prepare the Frosting
While the cake is baking, get your frosting on. Place butter, cream cheese, insoitol, glycine and as much raw honey as desired (I use about a quarter cup) in a large bowl. Add lemon zest if you’re going for a full-throttle carnivor-ish experience.
Whip on high using a kitchen aid or hand mixer. Adjust sweetness and/or lemon-tart to taste. For best results, chill for ten to twenty minutes before frosting the cakes.
For a non-dairy, tallow-based alternative to cream cheese frosting, see my Keto Carnivore Fat Bombs for a full tallow frosting recipe and directions.
Once the cakes are completely cool, stack, frost, and adorn.
LASTLY, THE FINALE OF THIS LONG, YUMMY TALE:
CELEBRATE THE HECK OUT OF LIFE COURTESY OF YOUR VERY OWN FRESHLY BREWED CARNIVORE BIRTHDAY CAKE.
Light some candles. Blow ’em out. Make a wish. Give some gratitude for all the good years, maybe the hard ones too.
Let.Them.Eat.Cake.
#haveyourcakeandeatittooyoumadmadcarnivores
Variations for Different Carnivore Diets
Non-Dairy Option
No dairy? No problem! Replace one cup of cream with sixteen medium sized egg yolks. Skip the heating step and add ’em straight to the cake batter.
Substitute Carnivore Dairy-Free Frosting for cream cheese frosting by whipping beef tallow with a mixture of carnivore sweeteners. Buy high quality grass-fed tallow or make your own by wet-rendering beef body fat trimmings.
In either case, add inositol, glycine, and preferably a bit of raw honey to the tallow and whisk with a hand mixer or kitchen aid blender until the mixture attains the delicious silky smooth texture of frosting. See my Keto Carnivore Fat Bombs for a full tallow frosting recipe and directions.
Strict Carnivore Option
If you’d like to make this frosting kosher even according to strict carnivore cooking styles, omit the vanilla extract, lemon zest, and inositol nd use finely powdered glycine as well as a little bit of honey to sweeten.
Nose to Tail Option
Sneak in your organ meats for the day by using bone marrow instead of tallow for the frosting. Simply allow the marrow to come to room temperature before extracting from the bones, then whisk with your sweetener of choice in a kitchen aid appliance or with a hand mixer until light and fluff
Sweetener Substitutions
If you don’t want to use use inositol and glycine, you can replace with erythritol or allulose 1:1 in in both frosting and cake.
In other words, replace the total quantity of inositol plus glycine with an equal amount of erythritol or allulose.
I don’t recommend erythitrol in general, but it’s more accessible and affordable, so for the occasional keto carnivore treat it’s use is not, shall we say, of apocolyptic consequence.
AKA, you’ll live.
Unless you’re super sensitive or have more serious health issues, in which case you might wanna stick with the inositol and glycine, which are pretty well tolerated by most people in reasonable quantities.
Troubleshooting
Sunken Middle of Cake
Pork rind flour cake can be a bit finicky and has a tendency not to gain as much altitude in the center as around the edges if conditions are not just so. If this happens, all is not lost.
Cut the raised edges off with a sharp knife to bring the top of the cake to level. Make carnivore ice cream cake bites by mixing excess bits of cake with icing, molding into balls, and freezing.
Grainy Frosting
If your frosting comes out grainy, there could be a couple of issues at play.
Sweetener Wasn’t Powdered
If you used cream cheese and butter, the sweetener is probably to blame. It’s important to use finely powdered erythritol, allulose, glycine, or inositol. If you bought the sweetener in granular form you can powder it by grinding it in a coffee grinder until the particles are so extremely fine and powdery.
Tallow Needs to Be Reheated
If you used tallow as your frosting base, you may have the same problem mentioned above, so first make sure your sweetener is powdered.
If you did use a powdered sweetener and your frosting still came out grainy, the issue could be lie with the texture of the tallow itself.
In this case, gently reheat the frosting until the tallow is liquid. Pour into a mixing bowl and allow to harden at room temperature until the frosting is sold but still slightly warm.
At this point, re-whisk. In some cases this will resolve the issue and produce a delicious creamy & smooth texture.
Other Recipes To Savor
- Want ice cream with your birthday cake? Freeze up some Carnivore Russian Custard to serve on the side for a dairy free, all-star, all-carnivore ice cream (of sorts).
- Try our Keto Carnivore Fat Bombs for a sweet treat on the go (like a little mini carnivore birthday cake…)
Carnivore Birthday Cake
Equipment
- 1 upright or hand mixer
Ingredients
Cake Batter
- 2 cups pork rind flour
- 1/2 cup glycine
- 1/2 cup inositol
- pinch stevia or monk fruit extract (to tast) optional
- 1 cup cream
- 4 eggs
- 1 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 teaspoons baking soda
- 3/4 cup blueberries optional; ingredient of carnivor-ish variation pictured here
Cream Cheese Frosting
- 8 ounces cream cheese
- 6 ounces butter
- 1/4-1/2 cup raw honey
- 1/4 cup inositol
- 1/4 cup powdered glycine
- 1 tablespoon lemon zest optional; ingredient of carnivor-ish variation pictured here
Instructions
Batter
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease one large cake pan or two smaller pans (I used two eight-inch diameter smaller pans) and line the bottoms with parchment paper.
- Thoroughly mix pork rind flour with glycine and inositol.
- Heat the cream until it just begins to bubble around the edges and mix into the dry ingredients.
- Separate the egg yolks from the whites and mix yolks into the batter.
- OPTIONAL: Add blueberries to batter mixture if you'd like to try a fun carnivore-ish variation.
- Whip egg whites on high in a kitchen aid or with a hand blender until they form stiff peaks.
- Gently fold egg whites into batter mixture.
- Add baking soda and baking powder and quickly pour batter into cake pans before placing in the oven.
- Bake for thirty to thirty-five minutes or until a fork comes out clean. Let cool completely before icing.
Frosting
- Let butter and cream cheese come to room temperature.
- While doing so, grind 1/4 cup of glycine in a coffee grinder until it becomes a fine white powder.
- Put cream cheese and butter in a bowl and add powdered glycine and inositol as well as 1/4-1/2 cup of raw honey, depending on desired sweetness.
- OPTIONAL: Zest one lemon and add to cream cheese, butter, and sweeteners if you'd like to go for some spicy carnivore-ish variation.
- OPTIONAL: Add 1 tsp of vanilla extract if desired and/or tolerated.
- Whip in a kitchen aid or with a hand blender until smooth. Chill un the refrigerator until the cakes have cooled completely.
2 Responses
I don’t understand how this doesn’t come out super salty and I cannot find unsalted/ unflavored pork rinds. Please clarivy
Hi there, sorry for my delayed response. If you choose unflavored pork rinds and don’t add additional salt, the sweetness offsets the salt already present in the rinds. There is some added salt in most cake recipes, so the salt already present in the rinds adds that touch of saltiness without being overbearing, in my experience. I used Pork Panko unflavored preground rinds for this recipe and it was not unduly salty. Hope that helps.